The JOKE Thread post your good jokes here
#1
Big Grin 
Some of these were actually pretty funny.


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet.'


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you
know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same
as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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#2
Those are some good ones, maybe some other good ones will pop up.



The Red Cross asks the midget coming out of the Mall if he would like to make a donation, he replied, not today, I'm a little short.



Voodoo Chile & pre-Stones Mick Taylor
http://www.morrisonhotelgallery.com/imag...b980px.jpg
Takin' 5 at the Monterey Pop Festival
http://rocksoff.org/brian57.jpg



















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#3
Watch out peoples: I've just created the funniest joke EVAR

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Water!
B: Water who?
A: Water you doing!?!?!?!?!
B: Eatng dinner.
A: Oh.
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#4
Glukkonitis Wrote:Watch out peoples: I've just created the funniest joke EVAR

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Water!
B: Water who?
A: Water you doing!?!?!?!?!
B: Eatng dinner.
A: Oh.

There. You see what you've inspired now, Delta? Blink
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#5
rolanddoe Wrote:
Glukkonitis Wrote:Watch out peoples: I've just created the funniest joke EVAR

A: Knock knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Water!
B: Water who?
A: Water you doing!?!?!?!?!
B: Eatng dinner.
A: Oh.

There. You see what you've inspired now, Delta? Blink


woah
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#6
I'm sure this is what the Notebook was created for.....

Read the following joke at your own risk.... seriously, if you vomit on your keyboard and break it - don't start flaming me:

[spoiler]A young girl caught a glimpse of her nude father
"Daddy, what's that?"
"A penis"
"When will I get one"
"In about twenty minutes when your Mum goes out"[/spoiler]

If you read it and laughed - shame on you
If you read it and thought "QoQuaq is a *%Ā£$" - you're probably right, depending on what "*%Ā£$" means to you.
If you didn't read it, I bet you're really intrigued now, aren't you?
Come and join us at http://www.floydians.org and continue the PFO legacy.
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#7
QoQuaq Wrote:I'm sure this is what the Notebook was created for.....

Read the following joke at your own risk.... seriously, if you vomit on your keyboard and break it - don't start flaming me:

[spoiler]A young girl caught a glimpse of her nude father
"Daddy, what's that?"
"A penis"
"When will I get one"
"In about twenty minutes when your Mum goes out"[/spoiler]

If you read it and laughed - shame on you
If you read it and thought "QoQuaq is a *%Ā£$" - you're probably right, depending on what "*%Ā£$" means to you.
If you didn't read it, I bet you're really intrigued now, aren't you?
Biggrin
R. I. P Syd Barrett (06/01/46-07/07/06)
R. I. P Rick Wright (28/07/43-15/09/08)

[Image: PFOMemberoftheYear.jpg]

"We don't want no trouble, we just want the right to be different. That's all." - pita
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#8
I think vests are all about protection. You know what I mean? Like a lifevest protects you from drowning and bulletproof vests protect you from getting shot and the sweatervest protects you from pretty girls.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if heā€™s persuasive. ā€?Dude make a left.ā€™ ā€?Those are treesā€¦ā€™ ā€?Trust me.ā€™

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now Iā€™m good at everything.ā€¯

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ā€?Happy Birthdayā€™ on it. I didnā€™t want to waste it so I just wrote ā€?Jesusā€™ on it.
We hate your hate
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#9
Bloke went into hospital to have an operation. Later the doctor comes out and sees him "Mr Smith, we have some good news and some bad news for you".
"Oh dear, what is it ses Mr Smith!
"Well the bad news is we had to chop both your legs off!"
"Oh my!" said Mr Smith
"but the good news is", said the doctor "We've managed to sell your slippers!"


bom bom
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#10
What did Snow white say when she sat on Pinochio's face?
- Tell me a lie!
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