I wrote a song, need opinions
First of all, I want to say hi to everyone, because this is my first post here. If this is not the place where I should post this kind of thread, please let me know. And please sorry for my bad English, because it's not my mother tongue.
I'm a big fan of Pink Floyd, and listening to "Too much rope" by Waters, I got an inspiration to write my own song. I would be very pleased if you read it and tell me if you like it, and if you don't, why, because this is one of my first songs, and would like to improve and learn from my mistakes.
So, here it is:
The change is yet to come
Running through the death field
in my head the war is raging
From the beginning my fate was sealed
Will I see my children aging?
Flashback of the childhood carried by the bullet
Judas and Pilates now on my way
Feeling like the last turn of Russian roulette
To die fast or to survive, only thing I pray.
Human to nature, so estranged
We need to change...
Morality is now
no more a reality
With our miserable lives
The world's become a missile range
We need a change...
The game has but one rule
You're a loser from the start
Expecting victory is making you a fool
Staying alive is now an art
Pouring through the holes we made
oil and sun now give us fear
fire was our god, now used to invade
even in gods eyes, nothing but a tear.
Everything now seems so strange
We need to change
Mosque is rising from the fallen twins
but Ku'ran is turning into ash
Temples of money growing by all means
they can't last forever, soon they will crash
Far away behind the lines
They're not looking for the fame
Defense for them is not an option
Peace for them is out of the game
Let's break down this fucking stage!
We need to change...
God, it looks like you were listening
I am safe now, no-one can hurt me
Far away from the chaos and burning
Peace, finally with me.
It feels like I've found a four-leaf clover,
But why are you hugging our kids, crying?
When at last this nightmare is over,
Why they keep asking: "Is daddy sleeping"?
The tears keep pouring.
Thanks in advance for the comments :)